Well today is my 21st anniversary. For me kind of a bah hum bug day. My counselor today asked me if I felt like I made a mistake about getting a divorce. Sometimes I do, but for the most part I am good with my decision. Not because I don't love him anymore, but because we can't live together anymore. He asked what I missed most about not being together. I really could not tell him. I honestly didn't know. I think that I miss what we should have had. What I wish I had.
Like I told the counselor today, I feel like that for 21 years of being married, that I wish that he would have fought more to stay married. I feel like he gave in the minute I said don't come home. There was no fighting for our marriage. I said a lot, but the action wasn't there.
Don't get me wrong. We had a lot of good times. We have beautiful, awesome kids. I wouldn't trade that time for anything.
I take from this experience a lot of learning about myself, and what I need to change. I am work in progress. I hope that I can change for the better and learn not repeat the wrong things I did. Hope for better tomorrows, fondness of the years pass, and happiness in the years to come.
I found this quote. I think that it is how I feel right now.
Relationships begin to weaken, then fail when we stop doing the things that it took to get them in the first place.
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