Failure.......

I have been thinking a lot about failure. I keep thinking that this is my second failure in marriage. Do I really want to say that I have been married twice? I really don't think that as a young girl I said "Oh it would fun to be married twice and divorced twice!" Did I bring this on myself because I didn't learn how relationships should be? Or because I didn't learn from the first one! It is kind of scary to think that if I get married again it will be my third time! Maybe the third time will be the charm. This is why I am going to counseling. I don't want this to happen again because I haven't learned from my mistakes.

I don't want failure to define my life! I am going to begin again. Learn from this. My biggest lesson is communication. Boy is that the biggest thing in marriage. It isn't the intimacy, the friendship. You always will have those if you have a communication with each other. I mean really how can you be friends and be intimate if you don't communicate with each other. I still have a hard time communicating. I just let it build up! It doesn't matter what I think about what people do, because it is just what I think. It only matters if I talk to them. I get so mad at things that he does, but I don't give him a chance to defend himself, because I don't communicate with him. Even though  relationship is done as husband and wife, I still have to be able to communicate to him for our children. Just because I am realizing this, does not mean that I am doing this all the time! I have a real hard time with communicating. Maybe I should just have him read this! That will be my communication.

"Communication is the solvent of all problems and is the foundation for personal development." —Peter Shepherd