Was it just a feeling that one day you woke up with? Or is something that just comes on slowly? Or was it just when you happen to meet the right person? These are very valid questions to ask! But I really think that it is a personal decision. There is no one answer to this. It depends fully on you!
Just remember that it takes two to tango. So you were part of the problem in the marriage, so make sure that you have made changes for yourself so that you don't go thru the same thing with the next relationship.
First of all, when you go thru a divorce it really plays with your self esteem. You start believing that you are a failure! You need to make sure that you fix this. Believe me, I have had experience with this. I have been thru two divorces, not fun. Make sure that you like and love yourself, because that is the only way that you are going to be able to love someone else.
Second, make sure you are not bringing in the same problems that you had in the marriage into your next relationship. If you have problems with communication, work on it. Learn how to communicate. If you have problems with intimacy, work on it. Work on all your problems so you don't bring those problems into your next relationship. Because if you do, you will end up in divorce again,
Third, hold yourself responsible. Don't lay blame with your ex all the time. It take two to tango. So yes you were part of the problem. Just like it takes two to make a marriage work, it takes two to destroy it also.
Fourth.Remember that your kids are going thru this too. They have to be ready for a new guy in your life. Make sure they can handle it. You may find out that they aren't ready to see you with another guy. Talk to them make sure that they are ready for you to bring another man into their lives. Don't bring every guy that you date home with you. Make sure that he is one that will be around for awhile so that you aren't putting your kids through more stress.
Fifth. Remember that your marriage is dead not you. Mourn the loss of your marriage, then move on. You are still very much alive. Your heart still beats and you still yearn for an attachment to another. Treat the end of your marriage as a new beginning. An opportunity to change for the better, practice the art of forgiveness, and hold yourself accountable. If you do these things you will have a better chance at making the next relationship your in last.
Hopefully you can find that guy who is going to be your first and last kiss for the rest of your life. That the second time around is going to be better than you ever thought possible.
I personally hope that I find that guy that will be my first and last kiss. That will be my best friend, my forever friend. The one that will make me want to be a better person and partner.
So don't go out when you aren't ready to move on. And when you are guys/gals, make sure that that person will respect you for wanting to wait for intimacy. I like the idea of not being kissed on the first date. I like the idea of talking, and just being with someone without having intimacy involved at first. There is plenty of time for intimacy in a relationship. And what if you don't hear from that person again. Well then you just basically had a make out session with someone you don't even know. How would that make you feel? Kudos to the ones that wait. It is awesome when you finally do kiss, because that anticipation is there and you have already started liking that person. That person is there because they like you, not just for the make out session.
"Divorce isn't such a tragedy. A tragedy is staying in an unhealthy marriage, teaching your kids the wrong thing about love. Nobody ever died from divorce." But lets learn from it. Lets not repeat the same habits, so that we can show our kids a healthy loving relationship.
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